The dark side & jam
It’s been a strange start… We’re well into the new year and already we’ve come out and through so many things, and in true superhero style, we’ve almost taken it all in our stride. We’ve gone back to work, reconnected with friends, moved house, said goodbye (for a while and forever), we’ve been tested and occasionally we’ve been found wanting, I’ve been found wanting. In short, we live life at racing speed and I’m wondering if I’m the only one who occasionally misses the turn-off?
I’m the first to soak up everything and anything positive out there, I would bathe in the good stuff if I could and I’m all for LIVING, LOVING and finding the HAPPY! But every now and again, even this superwoman is looking for the light switch. Ok, to be honest, recently a blind bat had more chances at finding that damn light switch! For me, my doodle of darkness is my OCP (that’s obsessive compulsive paranoia). The self-made up term may sound strange and even a little funny but on a really dark day, it gets messy.
I always wonder Why? Why am I feeling like this? Is it my conscience calling me to action or do I simply have calcium deficiency? Would I feel better if I did better, do I need to try harder, is feeling like this… punishment for not being good enough? Now don’t look at me like I’m a freak, I know there’s more of you out there that occasionally feel like this – and that’s why I’m writing this. I may not know a whole lot about most things but I do know that I am not alone, that we are not alone and we are not lost, never! I also know that we weren’t made to merely struggle through life while looking for light switches and we were never meant to feel lost and alone. We were made to not merely survive but to prosper and to enjoy knowing that we are good enough, in fact, we are unconditionally worthy of love and good things (Victor Frankl said that, and he was a very clever man).
So, I definitely don’t have all the answers but I would like to know more about why we feel the way we do and how we experience our different worlds. I’ve taken a major step here in trusting you lot with my dark side, I’m hoping you have heart and do the same, even if just a little bit …
Of course, it’s not all doom and gloom. And man, do I have a cool recipe for you! It’s brand spanking new and for once an experiment in the kitchen turned out rather bloody alright, I’d say! I give to you:
El’s CherryJackJam
How it came about: I bought some overripe cherries from a street vendor and a friend gave me cherry tomatoes fresh from her garden, and I thought to myself… this could be jam!
Sugar for jam: Use as much sugar as you use fruit, in other words, if you use 1kg of cherries you should use 1kg of sugar. Now then, if you know the cherries are really sweet, use a little less but as far as measurements go, this is a good one to remember.
I used:
500g red fresh cherries
250g cherry tomatoes
2 shots of Jack Daniels (I just had to! It needed a little liquid.)
600g sugar (I used less because the cherries were pretty sweet, if used more though, it would’ve still been okay)
a pinch of salt (salt brings out the flavour of everything!)
teaspoon of butter
lemon juice
Cut the fruit into smaller pieces and take the cherry pips out. Put the fruit and halved cherry tomatoes in a deep pot and pour the sugar over. Let it stand for about 30mins, you want some of the sugar to turn to syrup. The cherries and tomatoes were still slightly wet from rinsing, so I didn’t add any extra water. Add the 2 shots of Jack Daniels and bring it all to the boil! What you want is a slow boil, nothing too hasty or it will boil over! You can now also add about a teaspoon (5ml) of butter, this according to my mother will prevent it from boiling over to easily. Also add a couple of drops of lemon juice, in the long run this will supposedly prevent the crystallisation of the sugar (clever girl, my mom!).
I cooked my jam for about an hour and a half, once the mixture starts tasting like cherry jam and no longer like cherries with an obscene amount of sugar, you know you’re heading in the right direction! Sterilise your jam jars and bottle your jam while it’s still warm… and voila! You have home-made cherryjackjam!
Enjoy the sugar rush superheroes! Keep it real and have heart!
On the odd occasion my friend, life does get too much, too rushed and too fast. We miss the turn, we crash and we come to a spinning halt. For several moments, life as we know it is not at all the way we want it. Yet, if we don’t panic, and remain quiet, we can give the paramedics time to rescue us and we’re taken to a place where we can recuperate. So, really, crashing is just a good way to come to a halt until we’ve gained the strength again to go forward. The trick is just to come to a halt rather than try and bring your wrecked car to go forward.
What I want to say with this is that, it’s alright to have a dark side, we all do and we all spin out of control. Don’t let it get you down, take your car to the Panelbeater that won’t cut you a wrong deal, and rest. Rely on others to drive you around. We’re all here for you, because we know that when we crash, you’ll be here for us.
Thank you for the post and thank you for the Jam!
welcome to the dark side sista…
obsessive compulsive paranoia… mmm… sounds almost as bad as my OCD… (obsessive compulsive dysfunction), but on a more serious side though, I think almost everyone alive goes through those thoughts, which means you are definitely not alone in the way you think about the world, but everyone has different ways of showing it or dealing with it, if they can’t… (Hannibal Lector, anyone?)
as long as you don’t give in to the dark side, all will be well, it’s one of those quintessential little war that you have every day with yourself.
to paraphrase Mr Lector – “First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does it do, what does it desire of you?”
oh and another more aptly put quote from one of my all-time favourite movies by Guy Ritchie; Revolver and the main character called Jake Green
“There is something about yourself that you don’t know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it’s too late to do anything about it. It’s the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I’m special. We share an addiction. We’re approval junkies. We’re all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin’ rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we’re just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.”
Love that quote! How true!?